Semi-Fuck'd

I once was a child wondering through the world happy. Now I am a mass of nothingness waiting to fall into a black abyss and be divided into a million pieces.

 I am nothing. Nothing good comes from me. Nothing new or creative. No light shines from my words or my actions. I am darkness. I am the abyss.

 Feathers of pleasure and nothing forever. Meaningless cleanliness and orders to surrender.

 Watching and hoping and fading and eloping.

 No more. No more. No more. No more.

Hate. VISCERAL. I AM ON FIRE.

Hurt you. Hurt you.

New post after long time away.

Hi.

My name is Owen. What's your name?

I think I'm pretty cool, but I'm actually not cool. How's that for awesome? I'd say it's pretty awesome, but not really.

This is the internet. The internet is not as awesome as real life because you don't see the emotions in the face or hear the emotions in the voice.

Real life is more awesome than internet life.

So why am I writing a blog post? I'm not. This isn't a blog post. You're not actually reading anything right now. You're just staring at a blank screen. If someone saw you they would think you were crazy because you're acting like you're reading while you're staring at a blank screen.

Now that we have established your craziness, I will say that I am crazy too. SO DON'T WORRY. You are not alone. I love you.

I like the words that I write. I entertain myself with my own writing. These words are entertaining me right now.

There are important things in this world. The important things are being kind and fair and being of some use to other people or the world.

Do important things and be important. You are valuable. Remember that and don't forget it. Be important. Be valuable. Because you are valuable.

I have learned that you are important. Now you should learn it as well. Never forget it. You aren't a small being. You are a grand and important being. The things you do really matter. You are worthy of life. You are worthy of being treated kindly and respectfully. Be kind and expect kindness. Be fair and expect fairness. Be respectful and expect respectfulness. You are important.

You are amazing.

I'm not important.

I used to think that I was important, but I don't anymore.

I'm not going to change the world. At least not on a large scale.

I might change a small part of it. Perhaps some people here and there.

It wasn't good for me to think that I was going to change the whole world.

It made me lose focus of each person next to me, beside me, in front of me.

The world is made up of individuals like those around me. I can't change the world if I can't change the people near me.

I don't love the world full of people if I don't love the people near me.

I thought there was some grand plan for me, but there isn't. There is a small plan. I am one piece to the puzzle and that's good for me.

The real man with the plan is God.

He will be the one to change the world. And I must be willing to fill whatever role is necessary in order for Him to make that plan a reality.

I am a small piece of God's puzzle. And that is all I need.

Because He loves me and I love Him.

The origin of Thought.

What makes each individual person think the things they do?

Do our thoughts arise from the specific things that we love? I think that they do. I don't think you can think anything that doesn't somehow confirm something that you have a love for.

For example, I could be thinking these things that I am writing because I love sounding intelligent. I could also be thinking them because I love deep, exploratory ideas. However, I am fairly certain that I am not thinking them because they are reasonable or rational things to be thinking. My thoughts don't arise because they are reasonable or rational.

Reason and rationality are filters that are applied after thoughts arise, at least in my opinion.

It seems also to me that reasonable and rational are flexible terms. They can easily be twisted depending on different scenarios and circumstances.

I think the only way to determine if the things we are thinking are of any substance at all is to determine what it is that we love that is making them rise up. It seems if we try to apply the filter afterward of reasonable or rational, that we might easily be able to convince ourselves that any clever sounding thought is worth something.

The value of a thought arises from the intent that brought it forth, at least in my opinion.

Who God REALLY is.

You have all heard the characteristics of God. You have all heard that God is all loving, all powerful, all present.

But that isn't who God IS.

God is inside of us. God is the notion that everything is going to be okay even when nothing is okay.

God is the gentleness in the eyes of those who love. God is the hands of those who comfort.

God is the innocence of those who know no fear, no worry, no pain.

God is the joy of being alive because life is so obviously beautiful.

God is the knowing that even when our bodies die, we will not.

God is the dream that somewhere people love for the sake of love and don't care what's in it for them. They only care to take away your pain and your fear.

God is hope. God is human.

God is here.

He is with you.

He is the warmth inside you.

He is holding you.

He is kissing you.

He is putting your sadness to sleep.

God is the gentle one.

He is the loving one.

Don't run away from Him.

He is your only chance of happiness.

Be full of Him.

Be held by Him.

Sleep inside His arms.

Your sorrow is a dream.

Wake up to God.

:)

Not a real blog, just a temporary assignment.

I had some blogs before, and now I don't have them anymore.

I deleted them. That's not true. I didn't delete them.

But I did remove them from my profile.

I keep changing, and so must my blog theme, therefore.

This is the way of it.

Don't question. I wouldn't answer if you did.

I am intelligent and super eccentric. Don't question.

You won't be answered.

Impermanence is key.

I am on a temporary assignment. Aren't we all?