Sunday, November 4, 2012

The sons and daughters of eternity.

One man raging.

We all know that this world broke a long time ago.

The answer lies within those things that we most hate.

The answer lies in shifting our very souls.

We don't even know how to love.

There is a battle on the field of our unconscious.

It is between love of other people and love of ourselves.

One must rule the other.

So few realize how much they must sacrifice to truly love anyone.

So few realize how much they must be humiliated in order to be redeemed.

We must bow down to serve love.

We must bow down to serve kindness.

We must bow to down to God who is love itself.

Lose your sense of entitlement.

You are destined for love.

Follow the path you were always supposed to take.

Lose yourself and find life.

Forget yourself and find love.

Be free of your desires for wealth and fame.

Be free from the shackles of lust and greed.

Be free from the bitterness of resent and hate.

You are an empty vessel. Let love flow in and hate slip away.

Bow down to God.

Bow down to love, and be free.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Never Ending.

I was thinking that I should make a post because I got voted to be featured blogger, but I changed my mind.

I was going to make a light-hearted post, but that's just not where I am right now.

I am death-hearted right now.

I'm still hung up on my ex-girlfriend, definitely because she was my first real girlfriend. But that is just pathetic of me to talk about.

Everything reminds me of her. People expect me to just get over it and I want to, but it's like the saddest thing that's ever happened to me.

How do you crawl out of something that your heart was in so deep?

I wanted to be with her forever. How many days does it take to get over something like that?

I don't think I ever will.

I get into things so deeply.

Sometimes I'm glad it's over, but most the time there's just a silent tugging, a nudging sadness.

It's going to drive me insane. It's already started to.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Loneliness

I am alone. I feel alone.

I am terrified of people. I am terrified of almost everyone.

I don't really know what to do about it. Mostly I hide from everyone in my house like a vampire hides from the sun.

I don't have the tough skin that everyone else seems to have.

The smallest things hurt me.

I make shields to protect myself.

I ask God why I am so alone, but He doesn't tell me.

I don't know the reason for it. I don't know the use of it.

It's so hard for me to talk to people.

Everything moves so quickly. Everyone moves so quickly.

I can't handle that.

Friday, August 10, 2012

Semi-Fuck'd

I once was a child wondering through the world happy. Now I am a mass of nothingness waiting to fall into a black abyss and be divided into a million pieces.

 I am nothing. Nothing good comes from me. Nothing new or creative. No light shines from my words or my actions. I am darkness. I am the abyss.

 Feathers of pleasure and nothing forever. Meaningless cleanliness and orders to surrender.

 Watching and hoping and fading and eloping.

 No more. No more. No more. No more.

Hate. VISCERAL. I AM ON FIRE.

Hurt you. Hurt you.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

New post after long time away.

Hi.

My name is Owen. What's your name?

I think I'm pretty cool, but I'm actually not cool. How's that for awesome? I'd say it's pretty awesome, but not really.

This is the internet. The internet is not as awesome as real life because you don't see the emotions in the face or hear the emotions in the voice.

Real life is more awesome than internet life.

So why am I writing a blog post? I'm not. This isn't a blog post. You're not actually reading anything right now. You're just staring at a blank screen. If someone saw you they would think you were crazy because you're acting like you're reading while you're staring at a blank screen.

Now that we have established your craziness, I will say that I am crazy too. SO DON'T WORRY. You are not alone. I love you.

I like the words that I write. I entertain myself with my own writing. These words are entertaining me right now.

There are important things in this world. The important things are being kind and fair and being of some use to other people or the world.

Do important things and be important. You are valuable. Remember that and don't forget it. Be important. Be valuable. Because you are valuable.

I have learned that you are important. Now you should learn it as well. Never forget it. You aren't a small being. You are a grand and important being. The things you do really matter. You are worthy of life. You are worthy of being treated kindly and respectfully. Be kind and expect kindness. Be fair and expect fairness. Be respectful and expect respectfulness. You are important.

You are amazing.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

I'm not important.

I used to think that I was important, but I don't anymore.

I'm not going to change the world. At least not on a large scale.

I might change a small part of it. Perhaps some people here and there.

It wasn't good for me to think that I was going to change the whole world.

It made me lose focus of each person next to me, beside me, in front of me.

The world is made up of individuals like those around me. I can't change the world if I can't change the people near me.

I don't love the world full of people if I don't love the people near me.

I thought there was some grand plan for me, but there isn't. There is a small plan. I am one piece to the puzzle and that's good for me.

The real man with the plan is God.

He will be the one to change the world. And I must be willing to fill whatever role is necessary in order for Him to make that plan a reality.

I am a small piece of God's puzzle. And that is all I need.

Because He loves me and I love Him.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The origin of Thought.

What makes each individual person think the things they do?

Do our thoughts arise from the specific things that we love? I think that they do. I don't think you can think anything that doesn't somehow confirm something that you have a love for.

For example, I could be thinking these things that I am writing because I love sounding intelligent. I could also be thinking them because I love deep, exploratory ideas. However, I am fairly certain that I am not thinking them because they are reasonable or rational things to be thinking. My thoughts don't arise because they are reasonable or rational.

Reason and rationality are filters that are applied after thoughts arise, at least in my opinion.

It seems also to me that reasonable and rational are flexible terms. They can easily be twisted depending on different scenarios and circumstances.

I think the only way to determine if the things we are thinking are of any substance at all is to determine what it is that we love that is making them rise up. It seems if we try to apply the filter afterward of reasonable or rational, that we might easily be able to convince ourselves that any clever sounding thought is worth something.

The value of a thought arises from the intent that brought it forth, at least in my opinion.